Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
