she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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