Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
