haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
