I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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