are you so shy because you have an std?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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