We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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