he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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