are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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