i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
