and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Pappa wants mamma naked
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
