You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
