My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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