How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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