How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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