I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
