So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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