smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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