you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
