you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
