I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
