My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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