maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I will be naked everywhere
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
