dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
