She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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