we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize