i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
