How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
