she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dicks are not precious.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
