No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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