Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
