i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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