we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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