I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
