That's intense
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
