I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
