talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I cockslap morals
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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