My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
