He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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