just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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