So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
