Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
