Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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