using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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