"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
