Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She bit a glass in half.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
