I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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