I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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