I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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