i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
