Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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