You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
