So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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