wat bout pragnant strippers??
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
