I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
