I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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