My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
