If that was your dad, he is hot
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
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My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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