Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
