You work out of a Hotel?
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
