it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
