dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
