Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
