if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
