I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
